Only looking at roadblocks is self-defeating. I feel like friends including some here have been gesturing at this to me for years but I got it on a deeper level today in therapy.

I was talking about how unhappy I am about my work lately.

Therapist suggested what would be my ideal work like instead? And so I envisioned it but then immediately started thinking about the roadblocks to getting there.

But only focusing on the roadblocks is focusing only on the negative and where we put our attention only grows. Rather, I could also include more of what’s drawing me and how great it’d be. Ideally some combo of both.

A distinction between want (etymology linked to lacking) vs desire (await what the stars will bring)

Are We Ever Awake/Free/Thriving Enough To Not Practice? Through the years, I’ve had periods in my life where I feel so overwhelmingly good that all my daily spiritual practices (yoga, meditation, prayer, Big Mind process, relatefulness, spiritual study, etc) fall to the wayside.

When I feel super awake, connected to everyone and everything, able to flow with whatever is happening, in an unshakeable trust that Basic Goodness is all there is, it’s really easy for me to go: Well, this is it. I’m done. No point in doing any practice of any kind anymore. And that’s not to say that I abandon practice entirely. I still lead my sessions online a few times a week or whatever, but the underlying attitude in me is this is all optional.

And yet, the feedback that I keep getting from Life is that I do, in fact, need practice.

There’s something about making the daily commitment to presence, to myself, to Spirit, and dedicating one or several periods of my day to some form of spiritual practice that is just so nourishing.

And when I stop doing it, it’s like if I stop doing physical exercise. After a while things start feeling kinda stagnant, and my way of being in my life gets wonky. I’m more likely to make choices that could hurt me and the people close to me.

I’m grateful that I can always come back to the routine of one or more daily practices. It feels healthy. : )

How to do the basics when your life feels like a dumpster fire? I’m working through some super deep shit in therapy right now. I found out that my dad is a diagnosed Covert Vulnerable Narcissist and I’m going back through all the memories in which I have him filed in my mind as a victim and looking through what I now know reality to be. It’s super duper disorienting and intimidating; my inner world is a mix of emptiness and everything out of place, and my coping skills are patchy.

One of today’s coping skills has been watching videos of a dude detailing very dirty messy cars. Seeing a literal version of what I’m attempting to do in my internal world seems to help somehow.

And watching videos of people playing NES Super Mario Bros. How am I only just now noticing that Bowser is a gay leather bear?

Are We Ever Awake/Free/Thriving Enough To Not Practice? Through the years, I’ve had periods in my life where I feel so overwhelmingly good that all my daily spiritual practices (yoga, meditation, prayer, Big Mind process, relatefulness, spiritual study, etc) fall to the wayside.

When I feel super awake, connected to everyone and everything, able to flow with whatever is happening, in an unshakeable trust that Basic Goodness is all there is, it’s really easy for me to go: Well, this is it. I’m done. No point in doing any practice of any kind anymore. And that’s not to say that I abandon practice entirely. I still lead my sessions online a few times a week or whatever, but the underlying attitude in me is this is all optional.

And yet, the feedback that I keep getting from Life is that I do, in fact, need practice.

There’s something about making the daily commitment to presence, to myself, to Spirit, and dedicating one or several periods of my day to some form of spiritual practice that is just so nourishing.

And when I stop doing it, it’s like if I stop doing physical exercise. After a while things start feeling kinda stagnant, and my way of being in my life gets wonky. I’m more likely to make choices that could hurt me and the people close to me.

I’m grateful that I can always come back to the routine of one or more daily practices. It feels healthy. : )